HEY! Wait, do I know you…?

I have the world’s worst facial recognition. And car recognition. And name recognition. (I have awesome voice recognition, but it rarely comes in handy, particularly since the advent of caller ID.) Dave finds this hiLARious. Because we live in a small town, and I’m so afraid of not saying Hi to someone I should recognize and being considered snobby that I say Hi to EVERYONE. In a very familiar way.

Such as today in the grocery store. I see a dude. I say, “Hey, how are you doing?” He says, “Hey!” And looks at me a bit oddly. We pass. I say to Dave, “Was that ____’s son from the beach?” “No.” “He kinda looked like him though…?” “No.” “Well, it’s always nice to have someone say Hello to you, right?” Eye roll.

I also wave at all cars. My friend’s husband drove a green pickup truck for a while. I couldn’t tell you if it was a Dodge or a Chevy. What I can tell you is I waved to every green pickup truck I saw until about a week ago, when I found out that he sold that truck two years ago.

At one point, we turned my insistence on waving to all cars into a game. When traveling from town to town, Dave and I would practice different waves on passing cars: the sideways peace sign pop, the double-finger point, etc. It definitely passes the time.

Here’s where all this gets me into trouble. Often I confuse people with other people in a way that far surpasses a superfluous over-enthusiastic supermarket greeting. Such as recently when Dave and I were at a bar and a guy came in and I thought it was another guy, and I gave him a Hello! and after we shared a big warm hug and exchanged pleasantries, he continued on his way. And Dave was like, “You know who that was, right?” And I’m all, “Yeah, it was [insert name of friend’s buddy]! … No? Oh crap.” Nope. Best friend’s ex. Ugh.

So there you have it. I’m an equal-opportunity greeter. Perhaps I should seek a position at Wal-Mart.

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1 Comment »

  1. Sadako said

    Me too…I’m so bad at remembering ppl.

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