Friday five: Funniest moments of my life

1. The time I asked my high school BFF to guess what I was thinking to test whether or not we were psychic and she guessed “Rutabaga” and I was totally THINKING “Rutabaga,” and it was a good thing we were in a public bathroom at the time because I very nearly peed my pants.

2. The time we were in the mountains, sitting around playing drinking games after a long day of skiing, and a friend spotted outside the window what appeared to be a fox buried up to its neck in snow. Said friend, who at the time was clad in only boxer shorts, ran outside barefoot in the knee-deep snow and tried to rescue the fox by grabbing onto its neck and yanking upward, only to discover that the fox was made of porcelain and securely cemented in place.

3. The time we were asking each other Trivial Pursuit questions on the boat and my sister pronounced the word “impotent” as “im-POTE-int,” sort of like “important” with a southern accent, and when we all died laughing, she asked why, and then asked what “impotent” meant. I won’t embarrass her by sharing her age at the time, but she really was old enough to know. Really.

4. ANOTHER time we were playing Trivial Pursuit and Sis was reading the word “despot” as if it were to be said with a French accent and when I figured out what she was trying to say and told her it was just “des-pot,” like it’s spelled, she started laughing so hard she jumped over me to run to the bathroom and very nearly peed on my head.

5. The time when Dave and I were on the T and I realized that the lyrics to Lost Boyz’ “Jeeps, Lex Coups, Bimaz, and Benz” were “To all of my peoples in the pens,” as in penitentiaries, and not in fact “To all of my peoples in Depends,” as in diapers.


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