31 truths

From Room to Write: “Make a list of truths, one for every year of your current age.”

Here is my list for today, mind you it’s filtered through the Colbert definition of truthiness.

1. It is a given that any time I sit down to write, Dave will inevitably enter the room and start asking me a million questions (proven yet again as I typed the header for this post).

2. When an Italian Greyhound runs around in circles, it could mean any of a number of things: I’m hungry, I have to go take care of business, you are a stranger and I find you exciting, due to genetic defect my left legs are shorter than my right legs, you are a stranger and I find you frightening, I’m hungry, I have to pee.

3. I have a million things to write about until I sit down to write.

4. The combined flavors of butternut squash, Italian sausage, ricotta, and rosemary are magical.

5. While we’re on the subject, Italian sausage makes everything better.

6. And unicorns are both magical and majestic.

7. I’m very close to deleting everything I’ve just written.

8. There’s a chance I might hit my stride.

9. Failure is always an option.

10. I’m actually a golf prodigy whose talents have yet to be discovered.

11. Eleven is my favorite number.

12. If I ever pick up a golf club, number 10 will no longer be true.

13. If I get a Christopher Cross song stuck in my head, I’m doomed for 7-10 days.

14. Yes, you do know who Christopher Cross is.

15. Now that you just visited iTunes to figure out who Christopher Cross is, you are doomed for 7-10 days.

16. I want sushi for dinner.

17. If it takes me more than today to finish this list, number 16 may no longer be true.

18. I really want to be writing some interesting truths by the time I hit the twenties.

19. An empty Zappos box appears to be a fantastic hub for Italian Greyhound circling.

20. Considering the fact that they just went outside, there are no strangers present, and the vet has never indicated any discrepancies in leg-height, Enzo and Charlie are communicating through their circles that they would like to be fed.

21. Grocery stores are far too bright and loud.

22. I will open a beer in 33 minutes.

23. My hair is badly in need of highlights.

24. And probably a trim….

25. The twenties are decidedly no more interesting than the teens.

26. When I was 26, I got married and learned to drive stick.

27. FACT: beets are good for you. FACT: I don’t like beets. FACT: Dwight Schrute is hilarious.

28. I only have three truths left and I really want to make them good.

29. I stopped typing so the dogs stopped circling, thinking I was going to feed them.

30. Crap! I wasted another truth.

31. Nothing in this list will be of use to you, and any entertainment value will be mild at best.

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