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Scary lawyers

I’m on the phone with my sister. I can hear my 2-year-old niece in the background. “Roar! ROAR!” she says.

“What is she doing,” I ask.

“Telling lawyer jokes,” Sister says, matter-of-factly.

“What?”

Niece: “Roar. ROAR!!!”

“She pulled a book off the shelf called the Best Lawyer Jokes Ever, and it has a picture of a scary man on the cover, so she’s making scary sounds.”

Niece: “Mommy, it SCARES me!” Her attention clearly turns back to the book, “ROAR!!!”

This is when I start laughing so hard I cry.

bestlawyerjokes

I kinda want to be this guy for Halloween.

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Bits and pieces…bits and pieces…*

Step into rando-blog mode with me. We’ll sit here for a spell and I’ll tell you of things that have been going on in my world.

I think I’m experiencing a bit of a tech hangover. I realized this today when, for about the tenth time this week, I typed something into the text box in Twitter and then promptly deleted it, then navigated to Google Reader and didn’t feel like reading anything.
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Move along, there’s nothing to see here

Seriously, there should be big ol’ DETOUR signs spread throughout the Internet so that good, hard working people such as yourselves can avoid the inane BS I’m about to spew. I’m trying to keep the BEDA spirit alive, so here I am blogging even though I have very little to say at the moment. But seeing as I’m already two days into May with scheduled BEDA make-ups, I better come up with something – AND QUICK.

So again, if you don’t want to read a bunch of words strung together for the sake of being strung together, please, go about your business. This is the last time I’ll warn you. Really, turn away.
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Happy Easter!

A good day for this guy…

[EDITED 4/16: I had to move the Jesus picture to after the jump, because it was freaking me out every time I visited the blog. You win, Jesus, you wily man.]
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The Tyra Banks/Dustin Pedroia Smackdown

I’m staring at an empty text box here at 7:59 p.m. I will not let BEDA become a big old FAIL just because it happens to fall on a time when I am busier with work and life than ever. Just because on the CW at this very moment, Tyra is discussing what has happened “Previously on America’s Next Top Model,” and it would be so easy to just shut the laptop and tune in, I will not quit so easily.
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Blog addiction: Advice columns

Sada* has been asking me for a while now to share with her some of the blogs I’ve been following. I figured if I was going to compile a list for her, I might as well keep my other 12 readers in the loop.

So this week, I’m sharing some of my faves. When these guys come up in Google Reader, I get excited, because I know I’m going to smile, or I’m going to learn something, or maybe I’ll be provoked to talk to my computer, which really confuses the dogs who are wary enough of the computer as it is.
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Auld lang syne and goals for ‘09

Wicked cool things that happened this year:

- Trips to New York, New Orleans, Boston, New Orleans again, Baltimore, Hingham (heh), New York again, and Bermuda

- I roasted a chicken! This means I knocked an item off the List!

- I wrote a couple things I’m pretty proud of.

- I did my first ever paid writing gig! I wrote a wedding planning advice column for  Island Weddings and Celebrations, a special publication of Martha’s Vineyard Magazine. (Which reminds me, I made some pretty amazing friends this year, too!)

- Back to one of those things I wrote that I’m pretty proud of: I wrote 30,000 words in 18 days! And I’m really excited about the project, for which the first draft is nearly complete. And it has series potential, which is exciting. Still keeping mum on the whole thing for now, but yay!

- I grew some things and cooked some things.

- I played host to an uninvited guest.

- Oh yeah, I started this blog. And another blog. Which will soon become part of this blog after all.

- I read some really great books and left some not-so-great books unfinished. Another I finished and hate hate hated, and one I put on hold. And I can’t forget the one I rediscovered from my childhood.

So yeah, there are some things.

For 2009, my goal is this:

- Get an agent.

There are many subgoals of writing, finishing things up, rewriting, continuing to write, writing, writing, and writing, but through this actions, I will focus my energy on the primary objective of finding representation and getting my writing to the next step.

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I’m almost back

Many times throughout  the month of November, I thought about how I should have done a little TTFN-type blog entry before ceasing all communication with the blog world and embarking on the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) challenge. But I didn’t. And then once I was fully into the NaNo-ing, there was NO WAY I was going to spare a SINGLE word in a non-NaNo-related forum.
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NaNoWriMo background: Betsy’s grandfather meets Frank Parker

My grandfather was a boat builder, which was only second to fishing as his life’s passion. One June day when he was sixteen years old, he drove his old pickup truck out to his favorite fishing spot, on the south shore, about three miles down a dirt road between Edgartown and West Tisbury. This was a top-secret spot his father had passed down, and in his whole life, he had never seen another soul there, so when he turned off the road to the spot where he was accustomed to leaving his truck, he was surprised to find a fancy black car parked there next to a pickup just as beat-up as his. He considered the scene for a moment before picking up his poles and his tackle box and heading down the path to the shore.

As he crossed over the dune, he saw someone sitting near the water’s edge, staring out to sea. Once he got closer, he could see it was a boy about his age.

“Morning there,” he said.

The boy, startled, took a second to compose himself before replying, “Sorry, didn’t hear you coming.”

“I’m hopin’ the fish didn’t either,” he said. “James Morgan,” he dropped his tackle box and held out his hand.

“Frank Parker,” the boy said, and shook his hand.

“That your car up there by the path?”

“No, it’s my dad’s. He’s building a house here.”

“Huh.” Considering it might be his last opportunity, Grampa did not want to waste any more of his limited time. “You fish?”

“Never,” said Frank. “But I see you have an extra pole, and I’ve got more time than I know what to do with, so why don’t you show me how it’s done.”

They didn’t catch anything that day, but Grampa learned a thing or two about Frank Parker. He had just lost his mother to pneumonia, and his father wasn’t a very warm and friendly guy. They lived in New York City on Fifth Avenue, and Frank was planning on going to Columbia. His father owned a large company that produced and sold canned soup. Frank would take over the company when his father retired. He had tons of ideas about expanding the product line – he swore he had thought up the TV dinner before he’d ever seen them in a supermarket.

For the next four mornings in a row, Frank was there on the beach when Grampa crossed over the dunes with his poles, until the day the site visits with the architects and builders were complete, and it was time for Frank and his father to head back to New York.

Every couple weeks that summer, Frank and his father would return to check up on the digging of the foundation, the wall framing, the wiring. His father was a man of detail, and he had to see the project at every phase. Frank and Grampa would fish, then Grampa would pick up Frank later that night down in Edgartown at his hotel, and they would drive around to beach parties, drink beer, and flirt with girls.

This is the story of how James Morgan and William Francis Parker III became best friends.

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It is ON!!

Working on the date scene. It’s finally flowin’. Not yet ready for prime time, but sometime this week, it should be up.

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